A great week of summer weather in SE Minnesota ended with a Friday afternoon of fierce thunderstorms, totaling nearly 5 inches of rain and accompanying flash flooding. At home we had many small branches downed by the storm and significant soil erosion around the garden. The weatherman’s view is the following days will be hot and steamy; with that forecast we entered the all too few summer weekend. For Saturday the major task for Linda (the Missus), daughter Rachel, her fiance John and myself became a game of “pick up sticks” that were strewn across our yard during the storm. We created a huge pile of sticks to fuel our next bonfire, which in turn created a huge thirst as the weatherman was right about hot and steamy. How hot? Amber, our golden retriever was panting more than a locomotive ascending a 7% grade. Linus the cat had taken cover under the shade of the hostas, while Bonnie the cat had retired to a deck chair with no noticeable movement for a couple hours.
Our outdoor pets were heeding the heat index emergency warning and had ceased all unnecessary physical activities. Our physical activities had left us parched. We finished up the “pick up sticks” and joined Bonnie on the deck for some cold drinks. Linda served up root beer floats and watermelon to cool us down (I placed a special order for a Diet Cherry 7-UP soda, that hit the spot too). The deck was breezy and we were recuperating nicely when an interloper appeared who brought a “tension” to the scene. It was a bushy tailed brown squirrel (of small stature) helping himself to Linda’s ground feeder for the birds. The squirrel immediately drew our attention, along with Bonnie’s.
A backyard squirrel is not a unusual sighting, but this squirrel had established a modus operandi of devouring bird seeds and knocking the grape jelly jar (intended for feeding Baltimore Orioles) to the ground, spilling its contents or allowing Amber to lap up the jelly. A squirrel pilfering bird seeds is a petty crime, but spilling the jelly jar is a capital offense; and this squirrel was a repeat offender! The mystery was the culprit would strike when no one was watching; except on this day when Linda and Bonnie both witnessed him in the act. Bonnie sprang to action.
Bonnie chose to confront the intruder directly and stealthily approached the squirrel, halting at a distance of about 12 feet awaiting her chance to pounce. The squirrel was on alert, but at no time slowed its pace at devouring bird feed. Their face-off continued for about 10 minutes, Bonnie waiting, the squirrel chowing down ravenously and showing utter contempt towards the backyard authorities. The four of us were spectating from the deck. Finally the gluttony had gone on too long for Linda and she decided to offer back up for Bonnie.
The climax to this scene came quickly. Linda took a position on the deck behind Bonnie, ready to help. Bonnie closed the gap another 4 feet. The squirrel’s defense system rose to DEFCON 3 and sprang to a nearby tree. At that split second, a violent retort was heard and justice was administered from the business end of Linda’s .22. Bonnie pounched when the squirrel hit the ground, but that squirrel’s life of crime had already come to an end.
Lesson Learned – Gluttony is a deadly sin when Oriole Jelly is involved.
